everyone can have an opinion; even if it's wrong.

doing homework and getting the job done is what i like to do and i like to keep going i love math i like games mostly cp games i think life is good as long as nothign to bad happens.

This is a rather unexpected website, isn't it? Refreshing in the extreme, though. Intuitive aims and such. To begin, I do not have a "job", nor do I ever desire to have one. I was awarded with three consecutive trips to the hospital in two months in light of the last one, and of course, those lovely inflated fees for common medical care. Truly, I have given it much thought, and I believe I'd much rather live "on the streets", so to speak, than waste away in wage slavery. It does depend on your perspective. I was extremely good at my last job. I was told by everyone that I was the "best employee there". My manager sobbed in the break room the morning she discovered I was quitting. I enjoy working hard, making use of myself. I will not tolerate unnecessary abuse, however. Although I will never willingly take a job unless the condition of a loved one depends upon it, (as I said, I can live in an impoverished condition, as long as I'm relatively free). I'm considering tutoring for the pleasure of it, but if it shows any indications of the insufferable "job-hierarchy" in which such abuse is standard policy, I'll leave the position as well. I enjoy my life immensely as it is now. My time is my own, which is of utmost importance to me. That is what the boss values most, your time, a commodity that only has so much shelf life; it can certainly never be replaced, only spent. I'm a writer, so I spend a good deal of my time writing, reading, contriving script in my head. I enjoy early morning baths, afternoon naps, evening walks. My time is my own. Of course, I am responsible for keeping the house relatively in order where I live. I was not implored to do so, but offered to, in the absence of a job. I cook, clean, maintain a certain neatness about the place, but I do it when I like, how I like. I enjoy being helpful and courteous, and do not need to be paid to do so. Nor do I need to be hounded, either. Those I live with joke that I am "the unpaid maid". But of course I am paid, not in money, but in shelter, food, living conditions, etc. I never ask for anything, coming from a seven member family in which you would gratefully take what you got, never wanting anything, concentrating on need. I am certainly grateful to have grown up in such an environment. Sometimes we didn't eat, sometimes our Christmases were meager in comparison to other kids, but we were happy, healthy, loved. Those are the most important aspects to any developement, not material obsession. I would enjoy some book recommendations, though. I do not watch television, so one can understand that I do not include myself in general conversation among peers in which such things are commonplace. I think I will devote a portion of my time learning to cook better. Hmmmm.... I do spend a great deal of my time thinking; it's such a pleasurable activity, even when revelations become painful, terrifying. Understanding what one fears helps to lessen it. I have good, solid ideas for two books, but I'm taking my time; as of now I've been writing poetry, which has been very wonderful, an absolute pleasure. That's what life should be, pleasure, although you wouldn't think I kept such a philosophy, to look at me. Many people are generally afraid of me whenever I go out. They do stare a great deal, become intrigued. Of course, that has always been my life situation, in which I was a relative curiosity to others. Sometimes such a condition saddens me; some people would rather admire me than share a friendship with me. I've had many stalkers, so I understand the general tricks they use. None of them were professional, fortunately for me :) The situation reminds me of a interview of Maya Angelou (terrific human being, I will admit, I do adore her) regarding her relationship with Dr. Martin Luther King. I quote: "It is very dangerous to make a person larger than life because, then, young men and women are tempted to believe, well, if he was that great, he's inaccessible, and I can never try to be that or emulate that or achieve that." I have always sensed the danger in the power others gave me, the pedestal they placed me upon. I never wanted it, but sometimes, for any sort of person, it can unavoidable, whether it is a little sibling who looks up to you, a friend, a crush, it's actually a quite common danger. One must learn to be careful about how they conduct themselves in regards to such individuals. No one should become so inaccessible, should ever regard themself so highly that they are not willing to reach out to others. Pride, ego, awful things can stem from them. I concentrate on my own often; if you can control your own sense of vanity, rather than allowing it to become a general reflex, you can become a better person. But you have to think, you have to ask yourself difficult, sometimes unanswerable, questions; you have to dissect and meddle within the soul. I'm not perfect, of course. When I was younger, I enjoyed such attention very much. Of course, when I was younger, I had a terrible case of cystic acne, which caused many people to reject and insult me at every chance. I couldn't walk down the street without some person (adults were, surprisingly, the worst) calling me "Monster, monster". At this point in my life, I soaked up any attention, because it felt like love, it felt like acceptance, even though it was never. Reminds me of a line of a poem I wrote, "attention whose shadow looked a lot like love"... Although for the past ten years I have experienced the most pain I could ever imagine, I am grateful for the experience. I can never look at anyone now and instantly, harshly, judge them based on petty notions. It's painful for me to even consider. I am even thankful for the first four years, which were the worst, the horror out of all ten. Eleven years old to fifteen, every day I only thought of ways to commit suicide, every night I cried until finally, I stopped crying, I stopped feeling, and I walked about like a general zombie for many years. Those years were very painful, but it is the least of what one can survive. I am much stronger now for them, resilient, and most important of all, understanding. Many people seem to lack compassion nowadays, as if they themselves were never in such a situation in which they badly needed it. Perhaps some of them have never been, not to some of the severity I have felt. I am hoping that people learn through their own pain just how awful it can be to inflict pain on others. I myself, have great difficulty, let's say, even gossiping. I can hardly stand being around people at times. The things they say, intended to hurt others, hurt me so badly that I needed to leave. The day is still young, the sun is illuminating. The day is whatever I wish it to be. Would you believe, that, by nature, I'm truly a pessimist? Perhaps this is simple happiness. I thank the website for this opportunity to speak my mind. It is much appreciated. People should truly do it more often.

I don't know what the fuck i'm doing. I sit in fantasy hour to hour,even if im surrounded by a bunch of people,at a party,in a crowded room with family,i'm always somewhere else,pondering those type of questions that no one can anwser certainly,i'm never aware of the moment,im always in fantasy,i don't know why,every fucking day seems so boring and depressing,i sit in sorrow watching the time go by,sometimes i remind myself to be happy,and then become,for a minute or two,then dose back into mourning,maybe i need to fucking get a life.Or maybe i dont get life.Or,maybe i'm just crazy. Maybe i have a mental disorder,or personality disorder,ha not many people would consider,because they dont get a chance,i never feel a heart to heart connection with anyone.I feel my family are a bunch of shitasses,maybe i am too haha,they havent done anything,they're not really dysfunctional,but for some reason i LOATHE them. I think about suicide,but am too much of a pussy to do it,ha otherwise i wouldnt be here on a goddamn bloody website writing things that dont make sense,or no one wants to hear,but writing is quite like a type of therapy to me. Sometimes i make a big deal out of life,unrealistic goals some people call them,making it big,becoming a star...sometimes i think life isnt such a big deal,its fake,and so what if i die,its all soo boring,but then i just dose straight back into dreaming,like wtf. Whoever's reading this,if anyone is bothering hahahah,or can even stand it,may realize that i may well be crazy,or just another idiot abusing the internet. I may be both.Life,and death are so boring,well i dont know that as a fact,but its what i feel,i hardly make any sense,common sense is sometimes valuable,no im not drunk,or high on drugs,maybe im already dead.

Hmm does anyone know a song its sung by a girl and its kinda technoey and i only remember some words: "something something dirty feeling, where do i go i can make my escape" i had a dream that i was at a party and i fell in a pool and that song was playing, sorry if there isn't enough info given. :S

Whats it like looking through my eyes? The world through my eyes is pretty much a huge place filled with a ton of smart people that can't seem to convince all the other people in the world to stop all of this mindlessness and violence. In my eyes, violence is one of the number one problems the world faces today. Theres numerous stories on the news every day about some violent act taking place. People these days use violence to take care of their problems. Violence is not the answer, people! Whatever happened to sitting down with whoever it is you are wanting to hurt/kill and just talking about it? Sure it sounds lame, but it beats the hell out of spending the rest of your life in jail for killing one of your friends over something stupid, right? I don't understand why people feel the need be violent. Sure, some people cant help it because of a mental disability or something along those lines and I can understand that. What I can't understand is this, the people who are able to control their actions still think they need to use violence to solve their problems. The world sickens me. Honestly, it does. All of this violence is just sick. Right now, as im writing this, someone, somewhere could be acting violent towards someone or something else. This wolrd is sick. End of story.

Whats it like looking through my eyes? The world through my eyes is pretty much a huge place filled with a ton of smart people that can't seem to convince all the other people in the world to stop all of this mindlessness and violence. In my eyes, violence is one of the number one problems the world faces today. Theres numerous stories on the news every day about some violent act taking place. People these days use violence to take care of their problems. Violence is not the answer, people! Whatever happened to sitting down with whoever it is you are wanting to hurt/kill and just talking about it? Sure it sounds lame, but it beats the hell out of spending the rest of your life in jail for killing one of your friends over something stupid, right? I don't understand why people feel the need be violent. Sure, some people cant help it because of a mental disability or something along those lines and I can understand that. What I can't understand is this, the people who are able to control their actions still think they need to use violence to solve their problems. The world sickens me. Honestly, it does. All of this violence is just sick. Right now, as im writing this, someone, somewhere could be acting violent towards someone or something else. This wolrd is sick. End of story.

Has anyone ever wondered why people eat eggs? I mean, in all honesty, someone...somewhere...at sometime decided one of two things: 1. I'm going to eat the next thing that comes out of that chicken; or 2. I wonder what that chicken's unborn baby would taste like scrambled or fried. Sick, utterly sick.