One Halloween Knight in 1864 a women in her 20's was murder during a halloween masquerade party,A man was seen wearing a black suit with a black mask that covers your eyes,His eyes was dreaming was so heavenly green mix with blue but he wasn't what you think.The woman that he murder her name was rosemary bethany she had long blonde hair and she was last seen wearing a blue fluffy dress she had a crowd on her head.The man in the suit had follow her in the alleyway,she was with her boyfrishe sawed him he end but he had too get something that he left at the party.He told wait right here,Ask the man in the suit was watching her,he made a noise its sound like a bottle.Rosemary turn her head real fast"she asked hello but nobody didn't said nothing "rosemary was unease about being in the alleyway so she about to walked back to the party.The man in the suit moved back a little so she won't see him but then something spooked her"she sawed this white gloved and a shadow of a leg in a dark corner rosemary moved back slowly very slowly.The man in the suit knew that she sawed him"he whisper something to her,it's was a scary nursery rhyme that he made up.He said hollow hollow ween i'm the man in the suit don't run don't hide cause i'm about to kill you.As he scream out to say that the man in the suit came running out with a sharp knife very pointing,,Rosemary had turned around so she run but she had fell on the ground she was so scared she couldn't evening scream.The man in the suit came to her and started stabbing her about 27 times and then lift her head up and slice her throat rosemary was dead.After the 8 stabbed wound.The man in the suit had got up and looking down at her laying there in a pal of blood,he took out his napkins so he can whip the blood off his knife, he turned around and away from her.The man in the suit had disappear in the fog as till this day nobody doesn't know who killed rosemary on Halloween in 1864.

The feeling comes back, only stronger, like water before its boiling point. I´m consolidated with no remaining hope of getting out. My head hurts, I don´t feel myself anymore; just the pain, the anger and something I thought I would never feel; powerless. For the first time in my life there is no way out. Nowhere to run to, no one to rely on. "Emotionally unavailable" people have always been for me a childish portrayal romatic comedies use to make the protagonist appear unattainable and therefore more desirable for the -mentally not entirely healthy- female audience. Now I´m asking myself how to become unattached from people, how to create a barrier between myself and the outer world, how to back away completely from the uncontrollable and unchangeable realities of life. In simple words, hot to stop feeling in order to stop the pain.

“Location of oneself is the present and all other remaining places have dived inside the deeper parts of the past of all” That is to say- Our home planet is present before us, likewise just at this time it is again submerged into the depth or the past from another place of space. In or under the circumstances- We are looking in the evolution, at this events or moment, everything has creation yet same event or very moment, from the borders on the spiritual or past from 14 billion light years is nothing creation in the universe through that unopened or contracted. Again: at this events or very moment- In the evolution, see reverse picture from the contracted location i.e. same event or very moment; someone looking contracted is on our location. Hence, we can take the decisions- both location are same, one site or lifetime Universe, big Universe between evolutions, out of evolution is infinitesimal Universe. History of the Universe or case is Early & Copy such like- Digital CD i.e. Digital Universe http://twitpic.com/4cjmuq see a-DEMO- Brief History of Universe.

Albert Einstein said that “Imagination is more important than knowledge” but I am looking not only that: See my topics at http://shahidurrahmansikder.wordpress.com/2010/01/04/27/ Yes! I am looking- All the visible things of the real world are comparable to the imagination of Nature of absolute space in absolute dimension i.e. in everything of the Nature’s plan is the play of imagination. In this circumstance: We are mankind, we have sharp imagination power and ultimate result of my imagination power- I am looking- “In full Power of Imagination is the result of Nature” See at http://shahidurrahmansikder.wordpress.com/2011/09/08/imagination-power-nature/

With due respect, I would like to stress upon viz. request your esteemed organization to exactly evaluate and uphold the sketch of the present universe in the midst of mankind of the Universe. There is no denying the fact that it is possible to feel or assess it through the depth of our brain and nothing else i.e. no other means. Hence, it is crystal clear that our very brain is the only Sample of the Universe http://t.co/iyMlT3r or specimen or allegory of the Universe http://twitpic.com/5qnvpa Again, we can take the decision that our Universe is early & Copy such like- Digital CD i.e. Digital Universe http://174.36.58.224/4cjmuq found a-DEMO, Brief History of the Universe.

There is not a person in the world who doesn't need encouragement. We all need someone to support us to give us a hug and tell us that we are doing a great job and that we are going to make it. But far to often many people don't get the encouragement that they need and so they feel bad and feel alone. If you could visit a site where you can be encouraged would you visit it? If you are like me I believe you would, so I invite you to check this site out, the name of the site says it all. But it is full of so much more, the words inspire you and the discussions will help you with everyday things that you and I come across. Please after you visited it leave a note to say you was there, but if you prefer not to that is okay. We just glad you dropped by.

I believe the memories of human beings are way more important that we think and play a very important role in our lives. I think the main reason of depression is the lack of memories -good or bad-. I like to think that the part of our brain that controls memories is like a slide projector machine. People only remember the exciting things that happen to them and they don’t remember routine things and usual expected things. Every exciting memory we have is like a slide that enter to the slide box. I believe that people with a lot of “slides” cant get depressed unless of course something genetic or something very sad happens to them. You never see people ,even if their life is hard, depressed if they have a lot of exciting things going on with their life and when I say exciting I don’t mean good exciting I also mean bad exciting (whatever that means) maybe their is another word for it but clearly I don’t know it. To explain bad exciting, getting into a fight, break up with a girlfriend, break your arm but of course when this things happen not in a regular basis, remember exciting = anything unusual for the person something that’s not happening regularly. I think it must be all peoples purpose to add more slides to the slide box and that means we must try new thing every time we get a chance even maybe if they sound boring a bad or even horrible. I think this theory explains why all this rich people are depressed, the answer is that nothing exciting ever happens to their life and can use their money to get to the destination without travelling the path that maybe most of the times sounds good but the memories are about the path and not the destination. A lot of people have everything a man can want and they are depressed and people ask ‘how can they be depressed they have everything friends money a good life people that loves them’ but that’s not enough, if your slide box has only a few slides inside then you have a poor slide show. Obviously if a bad exciting thing occurs a person maybe will be sad for a while but in general I think a lot of memories = happy person, unless of course bad thing happen constantly. My point is that every people should try and add as much slides to the slide box as possible and have as many experiences as possible and that includes the bad ones

reality is not real but that fact is not relevant If we can be alive or dead how do we know which state we are currently in There is no box

TO BE A MAN IS NOT EASY,BUT TO BE A MILLIONIARE IS EASY.

TO BE A MAN IS NOT EASY,BUT TO BE A MILLIONIARE IS EASY.

life to me is always a color base on a mood. everyone should smile even if its a lie, because sometimes even a lie can make the world a better place. If i was a color, today i would be purple. Try everything once, and if you cant then who are you to judge because it just might turn out that its somethin you really enjoy. money is an object in which you can in fact by happiness. how far would you go for the one you truly love? EVERYTHING happens for a reason, something bad happened to you and even though you have never met this person in your life, something good may have happened to them thanks to your misfortune. something good happened to you and even though this person has never met you before in there life, something horrible may have come from your good fortune.

What is like looking through my eyes? Interesting question. Well, sometimes i see nothing but hopelessness. All the terrible things happening around me in the world just get me down. Dissapointment, discοuragement, prevention from what i want. It's like everyone has turned into a zombie, but these zombies are different. They also feed from each other. And i have to try hard to remain myself. It would be easier if i just surrender and become one off them. But i can' t do that. That' s the point where i see hope. If i manage to retain myself, my soul and my thoughts and have my eyes open, then i might regnozise someone else like me. Someone who has not become a zombie and who thinks like me. And together we' ll find a third person and then maybe we will find more and more people like us. Humans, with respect for each other. Because that is all it takes. Respect for each other.

you know when we expect too much from others we get our selves hurt in return

sohanpur bazar,deoria,uttar pradesh of shri shivanand srivastava and shri panchanan srivastava

For me, whether God exists or not doesn't matter. I suppose I consider myself a Humanist more than anything and I try to stick mostly to that. I won't usually argue against the existence of some divine being but I do feel there is a lack of evidence. Regardless, I simply don't feel that any sort of confirmed existence on their part would have any effect on how I choose to live my life. As for my "beliefs", I see myself as having a responsibility to be a positive influence on my personal community and the world as a whole. I feel that "immortality" is best obtained through leaving a legacy behind of compassion and support for my fellow man and this planet that we all live on. The only thing I care about is leaving the world a better place through my own personal actions than it was when I first entered into it. If I arrive at the gates of "Heaven" and am denied entry solely on the grounds that I wouldn't acknowledge whatever God turns out to be the real one despite the fact I put every effort into living what would be a "good life" by any sane social standards, then so be it. I will accept whatever fate is to come knowing that I lived a life that I can be proud of regardless.

I was thinking the other day, that people mostly fall in love impulsively. More impulsively the younger they are. It is like tossing a coin and calling 'heads' or 'tails' while the coin is still spinning. Then I remembered something about mathematics I heard once; that if you call 'heads' everytime a coin is thrown, and the coin lands 'tails' six times in a row, is it more likely to land 'heads' the seventh toss? NO! The odds are still only 50/50. I think that somehow explains.. everything!

Hello. I am a boy in my early teens living in Pakistan. As some of you may know that we are fighting the taliban who are on the Afghanistan border.I once saw a news report on CNN, telling that a soldier of America was killed. He had been given a grand funeral, but his mother had filed a complaint to the authorities that one letter of his name was different and that this was an insult. The name was not told. That got me to thinking. That soldier had been given a funeral but what about the innocent civilians blown to shred by the American drone attacks. Drone attacks are very uncommon, a commander only orders a drone strike in desperate conditions. The situation is reverse in Pakistan. I would read about innocent civilians being killed by drone strikes almost every day.

Who came up with the slogan " The sky is the limit" when there are footprints on the moon!

There is no way to go Life is strange! Ekin Let your contemplation be endowed with this prayer. There is no way to go. There is nowhere to go. There is no one to go. Myriads of paths to traverse to the translunary home. There seems be no way to escape from this callous dome. The manifestations has you this ignorable captious vain. Your acquiesce and consent for heeding the vacuity to gain. Getting swayed away with the caravan shackled in chain. Acrimonious is the draught waiting for the lapful rain. Abroach and transient is the invitation to accept. Ready you never were for ademption of this addle concept. Deafened were your ears to hear the serenade of the divine concept. Wearing a veil of oblivion and expecting a clarity and candour Now a sentinel over your sentience for sepsis to be more. Buried you are Ekin in your sepulcher to be transfused. You have ignored the ablution enough which was not to miss. You were never acephalous to burn yourself in the alcove of bliss. This would not have been a transgress, had you chanced. You are no exception sitting on a caldera to be pranced. Senility is prodding you now hinting you a valediction now. The Valhala was never distant with its distinct frou-frou. If there is now way Ekin- jump out of the fen at once. You have enjoyed more than enough of foreordained falsity. Bow down before yourself Ekin and let it go. You know the friend now that which was once a foe. There is no way to go. There is nowhere to go. There is no one to go. Ekin 21/02/2010

Life is not always what it seems like, at times you see's a very fat, guy and this thinking comes to mind 'wow! he eats a lot....now knowing that sickness also causes people to get sollen up.Think before you act.

I had never tried to teach my father how children are to be made. Maybe that is my greatest fault. Do I really need to be human for to post here? Is that not an animal discrimination?

Insights About Life Life runs in pairs. There are pefect pairs: we got two eyes, two ears, two legs (animals have four-two pairs) and two arms. There are also complimentary pairs: male & female, sun and moon, life and death, night and day, happines & sadness, sweet & sour, light & darkness, left & right, up and down, construction & destruction, positive and negative. But sometimes life isn't always perfect at all. We may have those perfect pairs in life but we may not have our share of the good elements of life's complimentary pairs. Sometimes, we're all alone, it's always dark, we don't see the sun, we're sad, relationships are sour, we're right but we're down, there's a lot of negativity. When things like these happens to us inevitably by chance, by accident, by carelessness or by environmental and social induction, we should picture ourselves as a mirror that reflects images of objects in the other direction. Mirror the negative to make it positive. Mirror downs to make it ups. Reflect your inner light to make it shine around you. Think of happy moments and happy thoughts when feeling sad. Look at your brighter side to see the sun by neglecting your dark side. When this happens, capture those reflected images and make it your own. Life would be better, I suppose. We decide our own fate. I did it!

Baseball is like opera. Its the same every time but for the differences in performance.

Life is quite vague to sum up, so maybe going smaller is the key. A day is a wonderful thing. Filling a day with culture (positive culture, not culture for the sake of culture), happy moments, grafting through work for the rewards at the end (but if you work at what you enjoy, it's more effort than work). Being kind, enjoying cheering someone else up. All the little things - drinking an ice cold glass of water, reading a chapter of Lord of the Rings. If I were to sum up life, I'd say that it is not short, but it is precious.

if god created man in his image does that mean everything man creates (i.e. nuclear weapons and mass destruction weapons) god created himself? and if so why would god want to kill or persecute humans?

I think at a certain age we realize that the world is corrupt. But there's no use in dwelling on the fact. Sometimes I only read the headlines in gruesome news stories. I don't even want to know the details because they just serve as further examples of how messed up we really are. (Variations on a theme)

lol hey whats. a trail of dribble and nonsense has led me somewhat of the way but i mainly see this is others. egoism and bignoting yourself seems to be the go of society. but the people who promote themselves are only a selection of mankind whos stupidity is seen. mainly because for some reason, they have managed to generate themselves a spotlight on a big or small scale, in their piece of society. but thats only a slice of what stupidity there is. then there's the half socially retard who get excited over stupid shit and like all kinds of people, mesh together in wonderful little social collection. naturally making them feel normal. but thats just another example stupidity. there is plenty more that could summed up in a few pouncey sentences. writing this and looking around at the dumbass dogshit that goes on around i guess somewhat in a semi-subconcious way makes me feel superior. my thoughts of the people around me and the way i percept them follow along the following lines: everybody is becomes more of a scumbag as they become more and more sucked into the trap of becoming an utter toolbag and just plain ugly on the inside. although the people i consider to be the most level headed, which are the selection of friends (selection because "yeh i pick my friends") i have chosen, have there flaws and are somewhat sucked into the bullshit cycle. but i guess i am a little too. its too hard to calculate and judge exactly how good, bad, fantastic, stupid or idiotic someone is according to my view. i just work from what ive seen adding on a day at a time. i also have to consider what is true stupidity. is stupidity what i view it? i like to think i have pretty good judgement of what's going on. most of the time anyways. my point of view doesn't mean shit, really. neither does yours. unless your base your opinion on mainstream threads and become a sheep and think what the majority thinks. because in the end majority rules. wait no that's wrong majority doesn't rule. because the majority are fucking stupid. the control is in the hands of those that enter and control the minds of the majority. which isn't too hard once you get the slightest grip. this isn't my real name but: -by Cobolt Kensignton

Raising Point:by-Dr.Ilham Qattan When I speak about women, about mothers, sisters, daughters, teachers and educators, I look into those pioneering women who strive to raise their young children. When I speak in particular about women in my homeland, Saudi Arabia, I have to explain briefly the miserable status they went through, how much they suffered, and then how they are living now, what they have attained so far, and what they are aiming for. To speak about those women, I should describe the sufferings of the people who were, and are still, restrained by strict cultural traditions, which are not impossible to amend and rectify under our present concepts, and in consideration of the attitude of the world around us. I should outline the graduate phases that Saudi women went through from the period before the unification of the kingdom until now, and what we are looking for at the moment. Let me outline these details in a story that my mother passed on to me from my granny and great granny, say around 150 years ago. My mother’s granny used to perform the duties of doing house work, collecting firewood, having and raising babies etc. and other duties which no one can deny were the duties of a woman at all times, and in all peoples on Earth. But how about her status within the family? Did she have a say on her rights and even on her destiny? The answer is obviously “no”, although our religion’s teachings are to give her freedom of choice. So, it was not a matter of religious beliefs, but rather of harsh traditions and domination by fathers in the past. Before unification of Saudi Arabia by the late King Abdul Aziz, our community suffered a lot from wrongful and unjust cultural traditions. I cannot deny that Saudi women are still suffering now, but the burden has been much lighter after unifying the Peninsula , establishing the Saudi State , and extending links with other cultures. However, is that enough!! to provide them with intellectual freedom and stability? King Abdul Aziz, together with his sons Saud, Faisal, Khaled, Fahad and the present King Abdullah have all strived to establish and consolidate the State Rules. Nobody can say that they ignored women’s rights, as they provided women with education and freedom within the framework of the Saudi culture. However, with the recent world developments, a further change has become inevitable, a change that can only happen on the intellectual level, because some unjust traditions do not even comply with our religious teachings. In my homeland, there are many stories told about unfair conduct by men, and laws which are unjust to women. In general, Arab men and not only Saudi men neglect the rights of women and see them as mere containers of stress relief. In my view, God created women to complement men and please them. So a man and a woman complement each other, and no one can be happy without the other. A new generation of good children would emerge from women who are caring, learned, and intellectually free from unjustified restrictions. I should pose some questions and invite your answers to them, knowing that my answers would not be welcomed by most of you. If a woman drives a car in my homeland, does this give an impression of a highly civilized country? Well, if she is allowed to drive a car, and even an aeroplane etc. what comes next? Does mixing male and female staff in offices, factories, hospitals etc. make us feel free and make our country look more civilized? If I uncover my hair and go out with full make-up and cosmetics, do I look more free or civilized? What difference does it make if a woman wears or doesn’t wear a headscarf, as long as her mind is not intellectually free?. I believe that we should strive for intellectual freedom in conformity with our religious belief, and not by bowing to harsh unjustified traditions. Our religion is a temperate belief, not a fundamentalist, Wahhabi or terrorist one. We should follow our Shariah and Sunnah which, when applied properly, would give us full intellectual freedom. This means that we should not over-react or exceed all boundaries by exercising chaotic freedom. We should take pride in being Saudi citizens, because in spite of all negative aspects, we are still much better than others. Our government needs all our efforts to overcome any problematic issues, and we should do our best to gain merit in our history and our civilization.

Today as a friend and I were driving back home from ATL, we hit a small patch of rain. Having nothing else to do i stared at the raid droplets rolling off the windows. I began to look at it in a different way. I noticed as the drops started some were very small while others were larger, and they all rolled towards the window seal on the car. Well as they rolled some would move slower, some faster, and some would grow larger by picking up other droplets on the window. I started looking at the water dropletes as if they were people heading towards a goal or something along that line. The larger ones where faster and normally hit their "goal", I looked at them as if they were the ones with the most determination. I viewed the ones that grew larger as the ones that had the most supporters and people to help them. Some took longer than others and i viewed them as the ones that took their time or just did it very casually. Some didn't make it all and i viewed them as the ones that didn't have the support or will to work towards their goals. I just figured I would share this with some people..maybe someone will enjoy it.

There are people around us who are going in direction they dont know or dont want to know and then there are people who are doing in the direction they want to go however dont reach there It is said that bounce back like a ball the harder it hits the ground the higher it goes after that however what if the ball gets cracked in the bounce would it be able to go higher after that it is the same case with humans as well they they fall they fell they are cracked after a fall in life which would be a failure in any form what they dont see is that the crack created by them is a illusion of the mind which the mind alone can change. every failure gives us a opportunity to perform better and to bury our mistakes Stories are good when told and listen are they even good when they are followed. There is a time in everyones life when he/she feels that everything is possible and nothing can go wrong it is this moment that needs to be capitalized just like a bad ball is hit by a batsmen for the maximum and in case he misses and hits a single he is disgusted not because he is out only because he has lost a good opportunity similar is the plight of a human he feels digusted by missing a opportunity however in his case he is so very disgusted that he gets out in the next ball due to not concentrating and thus misses other opportunities as well. To teach is easy to learn is also easy the tough part is to apply what is taught. What happens when you start following your dream and lose the way inbetween here by losing the way it means you only know one way and the road in which your dream is going. And then suddenly you realise that it is becoming impossible to contiune to follow and you also realise that just to follow this one dream you have lost your way in life and now stand at a point where there is no direction boards and no point of return. What do you do then do you take the courage and contiune to follow your dream still though your inner heart says it is useless or do you turn back and try to come back to your origin so you could take a different path or do you take a diversion from the point you are in and go in searh of your lost path. Fear comes with possesion as take this example you are travelling in a crowded public transport say a bus or a train and you dont hold any possesion with you like Gold or any huge amount of money and on the other hand there is a person who is having huge amount of gold and money in his suitcase and the one hour journey is through a wild jungle with beautiful senary on both sides. Now what is the state of mine of you and the other person and who would enjoy the journey more well ofcourse its you only because you dont have the fear of losing anything as you dont possess anything on the other hand the person with the suitcase would have all his eyes and mind fixed on the suitcase as he fears of losing it in the crowded bus. Now the journey is ended and all get down at their destination and who is happy now of course the person with the suitcase as he is happy of not losing his possession however how long is his happiness exist as he would have to travel every one and again with his possesion throught his life so what he is doing here is not enjoying the entire journey but feeling happy that the journey has come to an end well this is similar to what people do in life they fear their entire life and feel happy that their life has come to an end well life is not a exam you dont want to attend it is a play time which needs to be enjoyed before the bell rings. Life is like a moving bus which we start off with our loved ones we know as and when the bus of life moves we meet new people make friends with them and also bid farewell to others we knew before as their stopping are different than ours however a farewell is only to meet again as you the ones who have got down at stop A might just jump into the same bus at stop E which happens so very often in our life we again meet people who we doubt of never meeting again. Everyone likes a moving bus and no one would like a bus to be halted however what would you do if you owned a ferrari and had to go for a drive of 10 hours would you drive continously of course not as you would be more concerned of the ferrari as it might get a breakdown and stop inbetween to take some rest for the ferrari. Similar is the stopping of our life in the bus we do need them to move ahead what the stopping does is gives us time to plan the direction we wish to take from there onwards it also gives us time to have the pleasure and be happy about the distance we have already covered. You dont get a seat to sit all the time in a bus you might be required to stand as well which is painful similar to what we get in life as life is not a bed of roses however there are no roses without thorns and its ony due to the thorns that the rose is beautiful and soft. And just when we are started to feel tired there is suddenly a stop in which a person gets down giving you a opportunity to sit on his place. Similar is the way in life wherein we get opportunites only because someone is losing them or someone has reached his destination take the example of a job vacancy a vacancy arises only because someone has left the job so ones misery is others pleasure.

everyone is great but to be grater you have open your mine.

I eat worms.

what did you see when you saw me coming?

if God created man in his image then does that mean that whatever man creates (nuclear bombs ect...) are created in God's image as well?

Every particle, every thing we have ever seen, not seen, even who we are has all come from the same little blip from the nothing.

As I sit here, I listen to my puppy being picked on by my dad, my own conscious anxious to get high, and my inner soul screaming at me stop the madness, yet let it continue. I wonder aimlessly on this computer searching for new wisdom. So far, I have researched William James for the evening and his theories on religion. What have I really learned though? What inspiration have I gotten from reading the Father of Psychology's thoughts? Nothing. They were only true for him, not for me. So I sit here wondering about life. The scholars only have true life if they had friendship. We all only have life if we have friendship. Friends are the basis for our growing and our developing cognitive skills. Without another to share ourselves with, it is as though we become desolate and die with dispair. We all need a person to share our inner feelings and thoughts with. Perhaps this is the beauty of marriage and its symbollic nature here: we need to share ourselves with someone. That is all that life really and truly comes down to. A person is defined through their interactions with others. The more pleasing and thought provoking of an individual you can be, the better. Also, it is strange, quite strange that the attractive have on others. Outer beauty is supposed to be pressed down and ignored, often thought of as shallow, however, beautiful people are often the most easily followed, respected, and adored. Beauty is mysterious in this aspect of how we really truly need it. Making ourselves more physically beautiful should be a personal goal for all....After all, is it not so much simpler than expanding the mind and eating up collective amounts of bodies of knowledge?

Live life with no regret. Die with true happiness.

everyone can have an opinion; even if it's wrong.

doing homework and getting the job done is what i like to do and i like to keep going i love math i like games mostly cp games i think life is good as long as nothign to bad happens.

This is a rather unexpected website, isn't it? Refreshing in the extreme, though. Intuitive aims and such. To begin, I do not have a "job", nor do I ever desire to have one. I was awarded with three consecutive trips to the hospital in two months in light of the last one, and of course, those lovely inflated fees for common medical care. Truly, I have given it much thought, and I believe I'd much rather live "on the streets", so to speak, than waste away in wage slavery. It does depend on your perspective. I was extremely good at my last job. I was told by everyone that I was the "best employee there". My manager sobbed in the break room the morning she discovered I was quitting. I enjoy working hard, making use of myself. I will not tolerate unnecessary abuse, however. Although I will never willingly take a job unless the condition of a loved one depends upon it, (as I said, I can live in an impoverished condition, as long as I'm relatively free). I'm considering tutoring for the pleasure of it, but if it shows any indications of the insufferable "job-hierarchy" in which such abuse is standard policy, I'll leave the position as well. I enjoy my life immensely as it is now. My time is my own, which is of utmost importance to me. That is what the boss values most, your time, a commodity that only has so much shelf life; it can certainly never be replaced, only spent. I'm a writer, so I spend a good deal of my time writing, reading, contriving script in my head. I enjoy early morning baths, afternoon naps, evening walks. My time is my own. Of course, I am responsible for keeping the house relatively in order where I live. I was not implored to do so, but offered to, in the absence of a job. I cook, clean, maintain a certain neatness about the place, but I do it when I like, how I like. I enjoy being helpful and courteous, and do not need to be paid to do so. Nor do I need to be hounded, either. Those I live with joke that I am "the unpaid maid". But of course I am paid, not in money, but in shelter, food, living conditions, etc. I never ask for anything, coming from a seven member family in which you would gratefully take what you got, never wanting anything, concentrating on need. I am certainly grateful to have grown up in such an environment. Sometimes we didn't eat, sometimes our Christmases were meager in comparison to other kids, but we were happy, healthy, loved. Those are the most important aspects to any developement, not material obsession. I would enjoy some book recommendations, though. I do not watch television, so one can understand that I do not include myself in general conversation among peers in which such things are commonplace. I think I will devote a portion of my time learning to cook better. Hmmmm.... I do spend a great deal of my time thinking; it's such a pleasurable activity, even when revelations become painful, terrifying. Understanding what one fears helps to lessen it. I have good, solid ideas for two books, but I'm taking my time; as of now I've been writing poetry, which has been very wonderful, an absolute pleasure. That's what life should be, pleasure, although you wouldn't think I kept such a philosophy, to look at me. Many people are generally afraid of me whenever I go out. They do stare a great deal, become intrigued. Of course, that has always been my life situation, in which I was a relative curiosity to others. Sometimes such a condition saddens me; some people would rather admire me than share a friendship with me. I've had many stalkers, so I understand the general tricks they use. None of them were professional, fortunately for me :) The situation reminds me of a interview of Maya Angelou (terrific human being, I will admit, I do adore her) regarding her relationship with Dr. Martin Luther King. I quote: "It is very dangerous to make a person larger than life because, then, young men and women are tempted to believe, well, if he was that great, he's inaccessible, and I can never try to be that or emulate that or achieve that." I have always sensed the danger in the power others gave me, the pedestal they placed me upon. I never wanted it, but sometimes, for any sort of person, it can unavoidable, whether it is a little sibling who looks up to you, a friend, a crush, it's actually a quite common danger. One must learn to be careful about how they conduct themselves in regards to such individuals. No one should become so inaccessible, should ever regard themself so highly that they are not willing to reach out to others. Pride, ego, awful things can stem from them. I concentrate on my own often; if you can control your own sense of vanity, rather than allowing it to become a general reflex, you can become a better person. But you have to think, you have to ask yourself difficult, sometimes unanswerable, questions; you have to dissect and meddle within the soul. I'm not perfect, of course. When I was younger, I enjoyed such attention very much. Of course, when I was younger, I had a terrible case of cystic acne, which caused many people to reject and insult me at every chance. I couldn't walk down the street without some person (adults were, surprisingly, the worst) calling me "Monster, monster". At this point in my life, I soaked up any attention, because it felt like love, it felt like acceptance, even though it was never. Reminds me of a line of a poem I wrote, "attention whose shadow looked a lot like love"... Although for the past ten years I have experienced the most pain I could ever imagine, I am grateful for the experience. I can never look at anyone now and instantly, harshly, judge them based on petty notions. It's painful for me to even consider. I am even thankful for the first four years, which were the worst, the horror out of all ten. Eleven years old to fifteen, every day I only thought of ways to commit suicide, every night I cried until finally, I stopped crying, I stopped feeling, and I walked about like a general zombie for many years. Those years were very painful, but it is the least of what one can survive. I am much stronger now for them, resilient, and most important of all, understanding. Many people seem to lack compassion nowadays, as if they themselves were never in such a situation in which they badly needed it. Perhaps some of them have never been, not to some of the severity I have felt. I am hoping that people learn through their own pain just how awful it can be to inflict pain on others. I myself, have great difficulty, let's say, even gossiping. I can hardly stand being around people at times. The things they say, intended to hurt others, hurt me so badly that I needed to leave. The day is still young, the sun is illuminating. The day is whatever I wish it to be. Would you believe, that, by nature, I'm truly a pessimist? Perhaps this is simple happiness. I thank the website for this opportunity to speak my mind. It is much appreciated. People should truly do it more often.

I don't know what the fuck i'm doing. I sit in fantasy hour to hour,even if im surrounded by a bunch of people,at a party,in a crowded room with family,i'm always somewhere else,pondering those type of questions that no one can anwser certainly,i'm never aware of the moment,im always in fantasy,i don't know why,every fucking day seems so boring and depressing,i sit in sorrow watching the time go by,sometimes i remind myself to be happy,and then become,for a minute or two,then dose back into mourning,maybe i need to fucking get a life.Or maybe i dont get life.Or,maybe i'm just crazy. Maybe i have a mental disorder,or personality disorder,ha not many people would consider,because they dont get a chance,i never feel a heart to heart connection with anyone.I feel my family are a bunch of shitasses,maybe i am too haha,they havent done anything,they're not really dysfunctional,but for some reason i LOATHE them. I think about suicide,but am too much of a pussy to do it,ha otherwise i wouldnt be here on a goddamn bloody website writing things that dont make sense,or no one wants to hear,but writing is quite like a type of therapy to me. Sometimes i make a big deal out of life,unrealistic goals some people call them,making it big,becoming a star...sometimes i think life isnt such a big deal,its fake,and so what if i die,its all soo boring,but then i just dose straight back into dreaming,like wtf. Whoever's reading this,if anyone is bothering hahahah,or can even stand it,may realize that i may well be crazy,or just another idiot abusing the internet. I may be both.Life,and death are so boring,well i dont know that as a fact,but its what i feel,i hardly make any sense,common sense is sometimes valuable,no im not drunk,or high on drugs,maybe im already dead.

Hmm does anyone know a song its sung by a girl and its kinda technoey and i only remember some words: "something something dirty feeling, where do i go i can make my escape" i had a dream that i was at a party and i fell in a pool and that song was playing, sorry if there isn't enough info given. :S

Whats it like looking through my eyes? The world through my eyes is pretty much a huge place filled with a ton of smart people that can't seem to convince all the other people in the world to stop all of this mindlessness and violence. In my eyes, violence is one of the number one problems the world faces today. Theres numerous stories on the news every day about some violent act taking place. People these days use violence to take care of their problems. Violence is not the answer, people! Whatever happened to sitting down with whoever it is you are wanting to hurt/kill and just talking about it? Sure it sounds lame, but it beats the hell out of spending the rest of your life in jail for killing one of your friends over something stupid, right? I don't understand why people feel the need be violent. Sure, some people cant help it because of a mental disability or something along those lines and I can understand that. What I can't understand is this, the people who are able to control their actions still think they need to use violence to solve their problems. The world sickens me. Honestly, it does. All of this violence is just sick. Right now, as im writing this, someone, somewhere could be acting violent towards someone or something else. This wolrd is sick. End of story.

Whats it like looking through my eyes? The world through my eyes is pretty much a huge place filled with a ton of smart people that can't seem to convince all the other people in the world to stop all of this mindlessness and violence. In my eyes, violence is one of the number one problems the world faces today. Theres numerous stories on the news every day about some violent act taking place. People these days use violence to take care of their problems. Violence is not the answer, people! Whatever happened to sitting down with whoever it is you are wanting to hurt/kill and just talking about it? Sure it sounds lame, but it beats the hell out of spending the rest of your life in jail for killing one of your friends over something stupid, right? I don't understand why people feel the need be violent. Sure, some people cant help it because of a mental disability or something along those lines and I can understand that. What I can't understand is this, the people who are able to control their actions still think they need to use violence to solve their problems. The world sickens me. Honestly, it does. All of this violence is just sick. Right now, as im writing this, someone, somewhere could be acting violent towards someone or something else. This wolrd is sick. End of story.

Has anyone ever wondered why people eat eggs? I mean, in all honesty, someone...somewhere...at sometime decided one of two things: 1. I'm going to eat the next thing that comes out of that chicken; or 2. I wonder what that chicken's unborn baby would taste like scrambled or fried. Sick, utterly sick.

You should All switch to Christianity!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is something that I have come to believe as a farmer that all city folk should take as advice...

while reading a book that asked some very interesting questions an idea poopped into my mind: Birth is magic, life is truth and death is the ultimate illusion

if the government and society is programing us then why do we read statements saying that we are being programed? we are not being programed by society, society is being programed by us.