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| Search found 21 matches |
| Author | Message |
|---|---|
 Topic: Memorial stone |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1444 |
 Forum: Jokes Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:09 pm Subject: Memorial stone |
| Sam died. His will provided $50,000 for an elaborate funeral.
As the last attenders left, Sam's wife Rose turned to her oldest friend Sadie and said, "Well, I'm sure Sam would be pleased." ... |
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| Topic: Murphy's Laws |
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| makhno Replies: 1 Views: 1312 |
Forum: Jokes Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:06 pm Subject: Murphy's Laws |
| Murphy's Laws
1. Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment. 2. The sum of the intelligence of the planet is constant; the population is growing. 3. An expert is a person who avoids ... |
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| Topic: 20 years |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1595 |
Forum: Jokes Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:22 pm Subject: 20 years |
| A woman woke in the middle of the night to find her husband missing from their bed. In the stillness of the house, she could hear a muffled sound downstairs.
She went downstairs and looked around, ... |
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| Topic: Patient waiter |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1525 |
Forum: Jokes Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:20 pm Subject: Patient waiter |
| A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he'd asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, ... | |
| Topic: 911 Call |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1527 |
Forum: Jokes Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:15 pm Subject: 911 Call |
| 911 Call
"Emergency Services, what is your emergency, please?" "I found this guy dead on the street corner". "Are you sure the person is dead, sir? How do you know this?& ... |
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| Topic: An artist |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1573 |
Forum: Jokes Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:14 pm Subject: An artist |
| An artist had been working on a nude portrait for a long time. Every day, he was up early and worked late - bringing perfection with every stroke of his paint brush. As each day passed, he gained a be ... | |
| Topic: Women problems |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1788 |
Forum: Dirty Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:10 pm Subject: Women problems |
| Ever notice how many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender?
MENstruation MENopause MENtal breakdown GUYnecology HIMmorrhoids ---------------------- www.smilezilla.com |
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| Topic: Black eyes |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1606 |
Forum: Dirty Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:07 pm Subject: Black eyes |
| A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her d ... | |
| Topic: Japanese businessmen |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1609 |
Forum: Dirty Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:03 pm Subject: Japanese businessmen |
| A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating.
She yells, "What the hell do you ... |
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| Topic: Bullets |
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| makhno Replies: 1 Views: 1613 |
Forum: Dirty Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:01 pm Subject: Bullets |
| A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies were OK. The surgeon decided to leave the ... | |
| Topic: Nicoderm patch |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1732 |
Forum: Dirty Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:58 pm Subject: Nicoderm patch |
| Two gay guys are in a bathroom using the urinals. One of the guys looks at the other guy’s penis and notices there’s a Nicoderm patch on it. He turns to the other guy and says, "I believe you’re ... | |
| Topic: They are finally together |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1592 |
Forum: Dirty Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:57 pm Subject: They are finally together |
| A young woman married and had 9 children. Her husband died and she soon married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died, but she remarried and this time had 4 children. Alas, she finall ... | |
| Topic: Italian Wedding Night |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1606 |
Forum: Dirty Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:31 pm Subject: Italian Wedding Night |
| Maria had just gotten married, and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Do ... | |
| Topic: Top Ten Things Men SHOULDN'T say |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1721 |
Forum: Dirty Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:30 pm Subject: Top Ten Things Men SHOULDN'T say |
| Top Ten Things Men SHOULDN'T say out loud in a Victoria Secret store:
10. Does this come in children's sizes? 9. No Thanks. Just Sniffing. 8. I'll be in the dressing room going blind. 7. Mom wil ... |
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| Topic: Nerds not allowed |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1451 |
Forum: Jokes Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:18 pm Subject: Nerds not allowed |
| A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying: "NERDS NOT ALLOWED -- ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK". He ... | |
| Topic: A second opinion |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1644 |
Forum: Jokes Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:17 pm Subject: A second opinion |
| Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After somet ... |
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| Topic: What a coincidence |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1569 |
Forum: Jokes Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:15 pm Subject: What a coincidence |
| A man went into a local tavern and took a seat at the bar next to a women patron.
He turned to her and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating." "What a coincidence," s ... |
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| Topic: Black eyes |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1553 |
Forum: Jokes Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 4:01 pm Subject: Black eyes |
| A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened.
The man said, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that h ... |
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| Topic: Sins |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1602 |
Forum: Dirty Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 3:54 pm Subject: Sins |
| An elderly man walks into a confessional. The following conversation ensues:
Man: "I am 92 years old, have a wonderful wife of 70 years, children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Yeste ... |
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| Topic: A Moth |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1535 |
Forum: Jokes Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 3:55 pm Subject: A Moth |
| A man goes in to see a family physician. The doctor goes into the room and sees a middle aged man shaking on the exam table. The doctor asks the man what is wrong.
The man sits up and says, "D ... |
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| Topic: Women talk more than men |
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| makhno Replies: 0 Views: 1627 |
Forum: Jokes Posted: Mon May 26, 2008 9:50 pm Subject: Women talk more than men |
| A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men.
He showed her a study which indicated that men use about 10,000 words per day, whereas women use 20,000 words per day. Hi ... |
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